Bruno

I love Bruno. He's so genuinely retarded and futile. Here is one of my favourites:

"Ich did the traditional thing," Bruno says. "Ich talked to the mother and gave her an iPod in exchange for the child. But Ich had real welfare concerns. Ich was really, really worried about the welfare of that iPod, because the village where Ich met the woman was actually 3220 km from nearest Apple store. There was no change for wi-fi update."

(From Sunday Herald Sun, 28 June 2009, "Play" page 3)